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Curtailed of Fair Proportion
Compubitch, Mistress of the Universe
The Passenger: Author Notes So, it takes me a long time to… 
14th-Jul-2009 11:09 pm
HOLY CRAP
The Passenger: Author Notes




So, it takes me a long time to realize that I'm writing stories about myself. Beach Blanket Poltergeist was written when I was about to graduate college and contemplating moving back to Santa Cruz to live with my then-fiance. The Knuckles of Skinnybone Tree was written after my dad got sick, to the point where everyone thought he would die. I've been working on The Passenger for over a year now, and during that time my whole life has been turned upside down and shaken. Anyone who's had this journal friended over the last two years knows how things have been, and I won't repeat them here. The important part, what I want to say, is that I stopped writing for nearly a year. Wasn't doing anything creative. And then all of this happened.

The Passenger isn't the story that I first started writing. Originally, Dean still died, but Victor, Sam, the Trickster and Bela became the horseman of the apocalypse and the whole thing turned into a good vs. evil vs. chaos showdown. It would have been a good story. I like this one better. I lost the first 10,000 words of that story when my hard drive crashed last year, and around the holidays I rewrote the first scene into exactly what was posted. And then kept writing. Victor's story isn't done yet - it's not the ending that I originally was planning on writing, and there's a good 3-4,000 words that I cut from the ending that's now posted, in interest of time and sanity. I work an average of 50 hours a week and I just didn't have time to finish it the way that I really wanted. I might, eventually. But I wanted to post with a good ending, one that would be satisfying, and to be honest I'm not sure that people WOULD be satisfied with the original ending. Maybe this one is better. I've always liked open endings. And it's not a story about saving the world, anyway.

The Passenger is about a man who loses everything, and rebuilds. Put that way, it seems obvious (and egotistical) that I wrote it for myself. But I'm proud of this story and I'm proud of myself. It feels really good to be writing again. I want to keep going.

I've met a lot of wonderful people through the SPN fandom. Far too many to count, who have been there for me during the roughest time of my entire life, just as much if not more than any of the family or friends I have in my life. I will always be grateful for their support and also for the wonderful inclusiveness that I've experienced here, in Supernatural. I'm not going anywhere - it would take a lot for me to leave for good. But I think I'm ready for the next step. My next project will be something for (knock on wood, please god I hope) publication, and I'd love if anybody was willing to come along with me for that.

Thank you everyone for reading - this story and all the ones I've written before it. If anyone has any questions about The Passenger or wants to call me an egotistical fop and this whole post a big wanky "I'm leaving fandom" deal, this is the place for it :). I'm just glad to be here and I'm glad that you're here too. Thanks, guys :).
Comments 
16th-Jul-2009 01:15 am (UTC)
Sign me up for anything you write for publication! I am ON IT.
16th-Jul-2009 04:29 am (UTC)
Yay!! **bounces**
16th-Jul-2009 03:09 am (UTC)
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
*twirls you*
I have to eat, and do *stuff*, and muck about, but i have an open tab now and will be reeeeeeeeeading soon soon.
Like, tonight.
*bounce*
*luffs*
:)
16th-Jul-2009 04:29 am (UTC)
Oh, I can't wait to hear what you think!!
16th-Jul-2009 03:30 am (UTC)
leaving?

eep

*aches*

can't I have cake and eat it too?
16th-Jul-2009 04:30 am (UTC)
Not leaving you guys!! And don't pretend like it's any great loss - I've written two stories in the last year, I'm surprised anyone still talks to me :p. But thank you, babe!
16th-Jul-2009 03:41 am (UTC)
Masterful, and so much of it. My cup overfloweth, and so does your awesome.

<3^1000000000^1000000000, et. al.
16th-Jul-2009 04:30 am (UTC)
**hugs you tightly** Thank you, babe! I'm really glad that you liked it.
16th-Jul-2009 04:53 am (UTC)
*hugs back super-tightly too*

I am also--really glad, and grateful, that this was so rewarding for you. To read this, and then read that, just fills up my little bitty heart.

Your pleasure in writing'll make my today and probably my tomorrow too.
(Deleted comment)
19th-Jul-2009 01:53 am (UTC)
Yay!! It really makes me happy to hear that. It feels sometimes like a bit of a risk, to leave this nice, safe bubble where I get so many nice comments and readers, and jump into an icy pool where no one gives a crap. But I really can't wait. Thank you, babe :). **hugs you**
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